As published in The Mandarin December 3, 2024 by Kiah MD John Glenn 

If I had of realised this when I first started out my life would have been much easier – everywhere! I would have got more of what I wanted to achieve with much less angst. At home, at school, at work – did I say at home? Double down on that.

In business we see negotiations as part of “deal making”, in the public sector we see it as a process step in procurement.

When we run negotiation courses, we often use commercial examples and exercises. Largely because they are easy to explain and to determine the outcome. Commercial is easy because it’s always about maximising your value and value is easily measured in dollars.

The thinking is a bit narrow. I cut my teeth in large scale negotiations working with the UN teams negotiating the ceasefire and disarmament of the warring factions in Cambodia. The concept of “value” was quite different, and the stakes truly life and death. 

Those who approach us for negotiation courses typically do so because they are entering the next stage of a tender, and we typically focus our courses on that commercial context.

It’s a mistake really, a missed opportunity for both you and us. So, we are adapting our current course to provide an option where negotiation becomes a tool in the public servant’s toolbox.

Dealing with “No”

Every time someone says ‘no’, it’s time to think about picking up the negotiator’s toolkit. My typical response, before I learned a different way, was to argue why I was right, and why the other person needed to change their mind. Sometimes logic prevailed (of course I was right), though not as often as one might think and rarely at home.

When you argue your point of view, whether it be with facts or emotion, you are seeking to change someone’s mind. That’s the art of persuasion and influence, and the next person who is equally or more persuasive changes their mind again. Persuasion and influence aren’t “sticky”.

In a negotiation you engage with the other person to understand why they said no, what were their issues of concern, and you seek to address them. You show them how to address your issues. You find common agreement because both your and their issues have been addressed.

Negotiated agreements tend to stick because the parties agree that each other’s issues have been addressed.

There are other ways of dealing with disagreement. You can just ignore it, a reasonable strategy if it’s not important or short term. Doesn’t solve the issue though. Sometimes you have authority, or power which is not necessarily the same thing. In that case you can just force you point of view, and deal with the resentment.

Sometimes you can go to a person with the power to decide. Be careful though, they may make a choice you don’t like.

Dealing with ‘No’ isn’t always a commercial issue, we do it every day. A negotiated outcome gives a better outcome but there is more value to be had in understanding the tools of negotiation that just getting what you want.

Negotiators have really useful tools

Unsurprisingly, good negotiators develop characteristics that make them good negotiators – and those characteristics are useful.

Here are five:

• Great listeners. They hear everything, seek detailed knowledge of not just what is said, but what is meant by what is said. People talk to negotiators because negotiators make it easy. They ask great questions that encourage others to open up, they probe the detail  
• Perspectives. Great negotiators see the world from more than one perspective. They hold the problem, like a world globe, in their hand and turn it slowly reviewing the problem from every angle looking for challenges that need to be overcome. We have a saying “if I understand your perspective, my perspective will change”. It’s not agreement, though that may be true, but the alternative perspectives highlight the issues that need to be addressed, and in so doing may unlock opportunities for better outcomes.
• Open to new ideas. Perspectives don’t matter of you are closed to new ideas, but great negotiators are always open to the possibility that there might be a better way to solve a problem. It could be that the issues raised that prevented agreement may be valid. Addressing them will make the outcome, whatever the domain, better.
• Critical thinker. Negotiators don’t take statements at face value; they explore the why and the what. They look for the logic, the linkages, and the consequences. Above all they ask “so what does that mean” and “what if they do this”?
• Intellectually agile. They aren’t stuck in an idea or a concept. They are prepared to learn new ideas and concepts and think about how they are applied. They look for ways to solve problems, not for rules but rights of way. They look at how to apply the rules, not impose and invoke them. Good negotiators don’t say “I can’t do that”, they look for ways to solve problems.

Which bit don’t you want?

Wouldn’t you want all your staff to have those characteristics?  To think critically, be intellectually agile, see the world from a new perspective and look for ways to solve problems. 

There are some truly great negotiators. Wimbledon tennis greats have raw talent, but even they have coaches. Most of us will never play the professional circuit in any sport, but we can still learn to play a great round of golf or game of tennis with a little coaching, study, and experience.

That why we have built a negotiations module into our Practical Practices program for public servants. It’s designed to build skills and capability, not as negotiators but as team members. This is not procurement, this is general capability.

As an added bonus, they will be able to negotiate better deals big and small.

Call us for a conversation about our Practical Practices Masterclass program. Two immersive days from how to run a meeting, how to build slides packs like a consultant, solve problems – and develop the attributes of a negotiator.

Can you afford not to say “yes”?